Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

3 Quote Challenge: Day 1

6 Comments

“There is a plan and a purpose, a value to every life, no matter what its location, age, gender, or disability. — Sharron Angle

I’ve been nominated by Carol at Wanderings of an Illusive Mind. (For a smile and a look at something beautiful, go check out her blog header…she paints with alcohol inks and the horse you’ll find there is stunning!)

Life here is pretty busy at the moment, though I suppose it’s busy everywhere now that the holidays are upon us. Here in the US the combination of politics and holidays don’t seem to go together very well, especially this year.

But I don’t want to talk about that.

I’d rather talk about the value of a life, regardless of the age or location of a person. Especially because of the age and location of a person.

Our elderly family member is settling into a new home, one she wishes she didn’t have to accept. She lived in her own apartment until she was 101 ; that’s longer than most of us will ever live alone. But her legs and her heart just aren’t strong enough for her to live alone any longer.

She knew that someday she’d have to move into a nursing home. Still, now that the time has come, it’s hard.

It’s hard on those of us watching her struggle with emotions as we struggle with ours. It’s hard telling her over and over that she can’t go home again. It’s hard to listen to her voicing her objections to her new location. And it’s hard to leave her there after each visit.

It’s hard to tell her the sky is a brilliant blue and the air is warm and see her sad eyes at the realization she can’t see out the window on the other side of her shared room. It’s hard to listen to her talk about the noises made by other residents at night without having an acceptable resolution. To think about her never having her favorite cinnamon raisin toast again because there’s nowhere to toast it for her. To realize that her space is too small to give her fresh flowers, that she never gets fresh fruits with a meal, that she can no longer enjoy the company of her bird. That she enjoys no privacy at all.

Mostly it’s hard for her.

I believe her life still has value, regardless of the age she has attained and regardless of where she now finds her physical self. And I believe that somehow we need to find a way to make her feel valuable again. Because right now she’s not feeling like she matters to much of anyone at all.

And that’s not right.

Change is hard.

Charlie misses his mom.

Charlie misses his mom.

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Author: dawnkinster

I'm a long time banker having worked in banks since the age of 17. I took a break when I turned 50 and went back to school. I graduated right when the economy took a turn for the worst and after a year of library work found myself unemployed. I was lucky that my previous bank employer wanted me back. So here I am again, a long time banker. Change is hard.

6 thoughts on “3 Quote Challenge: Day 1

  1. This just tears me to pieces. I feel so sorry and so sad for you, and for her. 101 years old is such a gift. When my father-in-law was in a Nursing Home he didn’t have his mental faculties at all, which made it totally different than your family member. This has to be so hard for her. I wish I had words of comfort. I just can’t even begin to wrap my head around the pain you are all going through right now. Would they accommodate a request for fresh fruit if someone brought it? Can someone bring her favorite toast? I know she prefers doing that for herself……..and, missing her bird….this is just so sad. You are all in my prayers. (((hugs))))

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  2. Love the quote, but am saddened by the story. It seems an unfair way to spend your last parts of life, away from the familiar, your beloved bird, your freedom, your privacy. I wish I had an answer. Can you take Charlie to visit? Or would that make it worse?

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  3. It’s hard to know what to do under the circumstances except keep visiting and keep talking with her and listening to her. Listening is the most important thing. If you don’t feel listened to, you don’t feel valued. Tough read, Dawn, but thanks for telling us about your family member.

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  4. Oh this is just too sad. Sad for everyone. There is no easy answer, just to be there for her I suppose. I’m sorry

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  5. giving up our independence is one of the hardest things we have to do in life – almost as hard a trying to keep it. – Perfect quote

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  6. Beautifully written, change is so hard.

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