Change Is Hard

…but change is certain.

Feeling blue

28 Comments

Sun sinks on another day.

Sun sinks on another day.

It’s only mid-winter…and it’s been a long cruel season already.  First there was the massive layoff at work causing the loss of several really good people from my life.  Then there was the permanent loss of a friend.  And just tonight I learned that Casper de Ghost crossed the rainbow bridge.  And yes I know the loss of a dog I’ve never met is not the same as the loss of a human friend in real life.

But still.  I’m feeling blue.

Tracks across my heart

Tracks across my heart

And I’m looking at the tracks across the back yard with my dog Katie and wishing there were flowers blooming and sun shining and that time could stand still during the good stuff and that we didn’t all have to go through loss after loss after loss and just generally feeling blue.

And somewhere on the television a doorbell dings and Katie flies off the chair we share charging the front door in order to announce danger, in order to protect her house, and, I know, me.

And I have to smile and acknowledge that not everything is lost and even much of what seems lost is not really gone, just somewhere different.

And I go and collect my crazy dog and we sit down to watch some silly sit-coms so that we both can laugh for a little bit and forget about the danger just outside the front door.

And it is good.

Always watching

Always watching

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Author: dawnkinster

I'm a long time banker having worked in banks since the age of 17. I took a break when I turned 50 and went back to school. I graduated right when the economy took a turn for the worst and after a year of library work found myself unemployed. I was lucky that my previous bank employer wanted me back. So here I am again, a long time banker. Change is hard.

28 thoughts on “Feeling blue

  1. Dogs are so good at lightening our mood.

    I hope as soon as the snow melts the daffodil bulbs are popping up out of the ground for you.

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  2. Take time with photos and memories of the good stuff, because even the richest and the strongest among us, cannot make time stand still.

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  3. Go visit a nursery (plants). They always have something growing. Then buy yourself some flowers to arrange!

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  4. Yes, buy some flowers, brightly colored flowers and know that bad always seems to happen in bunches, but there is still more good than bad. Maybe the bad stuff gives us a greater appreciation of the good.

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  5. Stay sane. Spring is coming soon.

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  6. The girls are right; flowers are in order. And perhaps a happy story about another do you don’t know:
    The place we take Petey for socialization is run by a kind soul who learned of a young pit bull who had been used downstate as a bait dog. He captured her heart, and he has since been transported up here, where he will live happily. I met the sweet guy today, and he was a good save. He’s going to be a pleaser who will undoubtedly bring many smiles. Not all is lost. And spring is on the way.

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    • OH MY Heather. I’m so glad he got rescued. Makes me ashamed of being from downstate. He’s going to have a wonderful life! And now Petey has a new friend too! 🙂

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      • Don’t be ashamed – you didn’t do it! And your downstate friends pulled him from his bad place 🙂
        People are people everywhere. I also heard of a big sled-dog bust just north of Mancelona. The people had more than 60 dogs, but only 12 of them were working and cared for. The rest were in the saddest shape. But the ones who could be saved (healthwise this is) were…so there’s that.

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  7. It sounds like you’ve got a hard case of Cabin Fever. Even when we can get out in these brutal winters (such as to work, arghhhh) it’s still as if part of us goes very far underground. Add some deaths and layoffs and challenges and it’s a wonder any of us survive. I’m very surprised I haven’t had Cabin Fever yet this year. Talked Barry into going to Marquette tonight–trying to ward off any possible blues before they decide to visit. Hugs.

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  8. I must admit – as much as I love the sheltie pages on facebook I haven’t been going on them much of late. Seeing all the puppies makes me want a puppy and seeing all the older ones cross the rainbow bridge makes me cry. It is the longing – longing for a rejuvenation of life and longing to keep life going and to keep ours boys with us forever 😦

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  9. That’s why we have pets, we are here for you
    Lily

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  10. Ups and downs. That’s life, isn’t it? I hope you are having sunshine today (Tuesday), as we are, with more of it forecast for the rest of the week. We so need the lifting of our spirits! And always, our dear dogs help out enormously there. Oddly, you mention the death of a dog you’ve never met, and I got similar news last week, and it IS sad, isn’t it? Because we know how much our dogs mean to us. xxxooo!!!

    But oh, another thing, Dawn — we went to a friend’s band concert on Saturday, and I thought of you! Fabulous performance! Hard work and dedication paid off big-time. Such a joy!

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  11. Aren’t band concerts fun! Especially if you know people playing. But let me tell you a secret….it’s even MORE FUN when you’re the one playing. I’m sure I could play way longer than our audiences would want to listen! We have a concert a week from Friday. I’ve been tryng to practice every evening. Somewhat successfully.

    It IS sad when a dog dies, whether or not we actually met them. In these days of the internet we feel like we know them.

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  12. Winter is such an easy time to get the blues. The shortened daylight hours, the relentless cold and snow, all gang up on us, making us long for sunlight and flowers and spring. I’m sorry all this hit you at once, Dawn, but I know Katie is the best medicine available. Shelties are so loving, so sensitive to our moods. Lean on her and let her help you — you can repay the favor later!

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  13. It’s been a hard, hard winter. And you all have had it hard. I walked my dogs in the cold rain the other day just to help me feel better. I hope things get getter soon,

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  14. Sitcoms can be a life saver. I like The Big Bang Theory myself. I know where you are coming from losing my job again in December and my sister from cancer last month. I had lost a number of people in my life i the last number of years, including my best bud Raizen in 2011. Supposed to be losing my home sometime this year because of the balloon mortgage coming due, but I keep busy with my art and music and social media for now. Cannot wait for spring this year! Take care and God bless. There will be roads in the wilderness and rivers in the desert!

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  15. Are you talking of Casper the Ghost – the white sheltie on face book – cause he died two years ago – they were just remembering his passing yesterday.

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