I know everybody out there has loved ones that have moved on to what I think of as their next adventure. But I’m wondering. Do you look for signs that they’re around? That they’re alright? I do.
In the beginning I consciously looked all the time. Now it’s more of an automatic thing. Mostly it’s birds that seem to give me signs from my folks, but I’ve also begun to consider the bright orange semi trucks I see out on the road as greetings from my Dad.
I know that probably sounds weird. After all it was a bright orange semi that killed him. And for a lot of years seeing one of those trucks was a knife to my heart. They are everywhere and there is no escape from them, so some time ago I decided I couldn’t allow myself to be knifed anymore. I started saying ‘hi’ to Dad each time I saw one and I still do that today. It doesn’t make it all better, but somehow it’s not as painful to see those trucks on the road anymore.
And of course I’ve told you about the stars in the sky that I’ve assigned to each of them; Orion’s belt for Mom, the Big Dipper for Dad. At this time of the year they are both in the morning sky, high above my head when I take the dog out early. I look for them, sometimes even have a little conversation with them, while Katie’s checking out the yard.
I’ve seen a few episodes of the TV show The Long Island Medium and wonder if people are so desperate to know their loved ones are OK that they feed the medium clues. I wonder if I do that in a way too, wonder if I look for signs so intently at the moments when I need them close that I manufacture comforting signs. I think the truth is that I have to believe Mom and Dad are somewhere just around the corner. Because to think otherwise would make living without them impossibly difficult.
What about you? Do you believe that your loved ones are still around in some form? Somewhere more than just in your own heart? Do you think they send messages? Or do you think it’s all a bunch of bunk?