I just don’t feel any affinity for 2013. The number itself seems awkward, unwieldy, just a bit off. Where 2012 appeared to be a good, strong, well rounded and full number right from the start, 2013 seems rather empty and irregular. Maybe the problem stems from the odd number itself or maybe I’m superstitious about the whole 13th of it all. I don’t know.
I was unable to stay up to see 2012 out last night. Part of that was my uncomfortable feeling about 2013 and part of it was that I was exhausted from crazy work. Mostly I just wasn’t ready to let 2012 go. I know there are many people – thousands of people – that are more than ready to move on. People who survived Sandy, people who lost family members in any number of tragedies, people who are going to graduate in 2013, get married in 2013, have a child in 2013. But me? I don’t have a specific event planed for this new year; to me it appears as a long long beige tunnel the curves away into the future. There’s no telling what’s out there waiting and it’s a bit unnerving. It feels more comfortable to cling to the known, no matter how horrific some of it was, then move on into the beige.
I know, I know. I’m responsible for colorizing my own beige world and 2013 will likely contain amazing and as yet unknown events. And I also know that as I move into the year my feelings will settle down, my camera will be busy, my dog will sill make me laugh, work will be work, and my family will love me.
I was sound asleep when 2013 arrived, Katie and I snoring away when stupid neighbors began yelling and shooting off fireworks. Katie barked and made all the crazy noise go away and we settled back to sleep. I felt detached from the excitement, ambivalent about time marching on without me. Mostly I felt annoyed. But I’ll get over it.
I wish all of you a very very happy and healthy New Year. Time to join all the thousands who are out walking and jogging and eating right because this is January 1. I’ll go for a walk, track my points today. Tomorrow? Well tomorrow is January 2 and all bets are off.
Happy New Year to all of you!